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I have always listened to all the Christmas songs that mention being home for Christmas. Even though these songs are special to me it's not because I could ever relate. This year however, I understand exactly what they mean.

Can I tell you the truth?

I was so so so very excited to move and be on my own. To have the "away from home college experience" that I have seen my friends and family love. But mine is not the, "away from home college experience" that most have. I live in an apartment, not in a dorm. Although I know some people in the complex, It's nothing like the wonderful experience I was anticipating. You see my sister went away to college. The only sibling of mine that has lived in a dorm. I would visit her and dream of being there. Being able to just skip down the hall and hang out with my best friend from college. You know the one that is a bridesmaid in your wedding. The one your call to have lunch with. Unfortunately, this has not been my experience.

Don't get me wrong blog people. I am adjusting finally. It has taken 4 months to get to this point. But now with the Christmas season here I am forced to face the fact that I am not at home looking at that glorious 9 foot tree with all the homemade ornaments from our childhood. But now that it is my job to have my own cheer. Right?

My all time favorite Christmas movie is Meet me in St. Louis. In this movie Judy Garland debuted a song called Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas. (This just happens to be my favorite Christmas song) In the scene she is comforting her little sister, Tootie, because they are moving to New York the next morning. Although this song doesn't particularly say anything about being home for Christmas it still evokes the feeling of homesickness that often occupied my thoughts here in my apartment.

I so look forward to being home for Christmas.

What a sad sounding blog this is evolving into. I have decided my next post will contain feelings of happiness and love.