6 months

I am overjoyed and overwhelmed at this realization: I will be a married lady in 6 months. Can you believe it? I will be married to this man:



It's difficult for me to understand this fact.

6 months....Holy Cow that is no very long at all.

Another completely different thought I have is hurdles.

I was that kid. You know the one who never ever ran track and really had no place on that track. Saying this I would be in gym class and I would get cocky and start running toward a hurdle thinking o yes I can do this. I would start running at full speed and get right to it and come to a complete stop. It was at that second where I stopped that I realized that hurdle I am trying jump is as tall as my waist. There was no way.

I am challenging myself with the new hurdles in my life. I will begin racing toward them and jump on faith.

My hurdles: In January I will be entering into my last semester of Dental hygiene school. This school has been the most challenging and worst experience of my life so far. I will be taking nations boards and credits and just overall being overwhelmed.

All of this while trying to plan a wedding...I am plain crazy.

I am excited. I am stressed. But mostly, I am happy.

Not to mention that it is now officially Christmas eve Morning.
I love Christmas. I love my family. It's this time of year, when these things combine that I am happiest.

Knowing the love of my savior and knowing God sent him for me. Wow. That is powerful.

Know what else is powerful? Prayer.

6 months...chalked full of prayer, and love.

Thankful

**Warning: This post will be mushy**

I am thankful for a guy that sets my alarm when I fall asleep before I set it. That He thinks to do it before he goes home.

I am thankful that I want to have his last name, even though it will make my initials be EW..Get it people like EWWWWW that smells... Yeah I still want to have his last name. That's love.

I am thankful that he is a funny guy. Even now he is making me laugh out loud.

I am thankful that he loves me and that I love him.

I am thankful that he is the Christian leader of our future household.

I love that he loves Him, Jesus that is.

I am thankful for June 23, 2012.
I am thankful for John 15:9.
I am thankful for him.
Most of all I am thankful for Him.

Married LIfe

I am sitting here in my sister's kitchen at her Beautiful newly installed window seat observing them.

That sounds like they are my new science experiment... Let me explain,

My sister invited me to spend a little time with her and her husband. Offered to make me dinner and watch a movie. I even got to swim in there pool. Which is a real treat after a HOT Georgia day like today. I mean come on people here in Georgia we are talking tops at 94 degrees today.


Well as I sit here and they are busy being all married and making my dinner and just being them I realize that I cannot wait to be doing this. Just being married.

Who am I?

That the Lord of all the Earth
Would Care to Know my Name
And care to Feel my Hurt?

These lyrics are running through my mind as this question is burning in my brain. Who am I? I am unworthy. Who and I? I am a human. Who am I? A human that messes up. Who am I? Who am I? Who am I?

Why did I feel the need to say something I never should have said? Why am I STILL beating myself up about it.

You're not supposed to say something about someone negative. If you don't have something nice to say. Don't! Right?

Even if you feel that it needs to be said. Even if you feel like the person needs to know. Even if they are someone very special to you who you feel is being treated wrong by the person closest to them.

Yeah you are supposed to keep your mouth shut.

Life lessons are the hardest things to learn.

I learned this one the hard way.

Stay out of other people's business. Don't judge even though you feel you are doing right. If they are happy be happy for them.

I am not you. I am not telling you what to do. I have never tried to do that. I just wanted to be your friend. Sorry that I messed up so big. Sorry I said something when I should have kept my mouth shut. Sorry that I hurt someone with words. (Especially after similar things happened to me)

I hope you read this.

Egg Shells

I feel like I have been walking on Egg shells for 22 years now. I am tired of being careful. Maybe you can tell by the way I say what I think now. I am especially tired of walking on egg shells at this point in my life.

I am so so excited to be engaged to William. Especially at this time in my life I refuse to walk on egg shells. Every plan I have made so far I have worried what if, what if I hurt someone? For instance the dresses I am trying on...What if they look like something you are already looking at? O man I am so tired of it. I am ready to just bee planning my wedding the way I want to and not be worried about the eggshells.

I am not longer being careful and walking on eggshells...I am going to start dancing on the egg shells. Doing what I want for William and MY wedding. I will no longer worry about what you are doing.

I am not longer responsible for any ones feelings but my own.


That being said... I am so so excited! It is now less than a year until I get married :). We have made so many strides to that day already! We have put a deposit down on the theater where the reception will be held. I have looked at dresses for the first time. I have pretty much made the decision of which style I am wearing. I can't wait to tell everyone all about what the plans are. Man I am so so excited!!! :)

The Least of These.

This is a new Bible study I have felt lead to embark on. One that studies Christ's journey in the world and how that journey had many many many encounters with the smallest, meekest, most vulnerable there were. Those that were cast out, Those that didn't feel they had a prayer. Those that were segregated and different. Those that didn't have the same beliefs, They are the ones I want to know more about. I want to know about Saul before he became Paul. I want to know More about the Leper that was so covered with sores that no one would be in his area let alone reach out and touch him. I want to know about the woman that was so desperate to just touch the Lord she fought through a crowd to be nearer to him. I want to humble myself to as small as they felt. Because I feel it is here when they were on their knees they found salvation. I need to be put back on my knees. Figuratively and literally. This is my new desire. To become one of the Least of them. The one that seems and feels unworthy because I feel it is when they humble themselves to that low it is then they truly deserve the love and affections Christ offered to everyone.

What's that?!

Another new and exciting adventure I am about to embark on?

Yes it is!! Today I am excited, today I am ecstatic, today I am happy! All because my wonderful sister and her hubby are moving to their first house! Why would that be exciting to me? That is because I will be moving into the apartment she is in now.

I realize how this sounds... That I am ready for her to move her butt out of there! Although this might be a relatively true statement, It is not because I want to get rid of her. I am so so so excited for her to embark on her next adventure in her life.

Let me just clarify something here. This apartment I am moving into is in the basement of my childhood home. Although this isn't the lap of luxury I still cannot wait! You see this will be where William and I live when we first get married.

It has also been no secret that when I moved an hour away from my home I did not like it at all. (Little side note... I have grown a lot since moving an hour away. SO although I didn't like it I have improved in some ways.) That is just one more way that I am excited to move back.

And although I am so so very excited, I am finding that I will actually miss this little place I have made mine. My very first apartment. It has been a time where I learned I could get by on my own. I just don't prefer it. I have learned that I am not very good at cooking. Not in the ability of cooking but in the habit. I do not have a habit of making my meals. I go out to eat waaayyyyy too much. I have learned that I will never be grown enough to not be afraid of a storm. In fact just last night I was crying on the phone to my fiance when a huge storm came through. Yet here I am. Able to say that I didn't run that I was here. How wonderful.

In the next few weeks William and I will be "fixing" our first place. But really since my sister made it look so awesome we are hoping we will just really make it our own. Then I will be moving some of my belongings to my new little home. And in a few months when my current lease is up, I will move the rest of my stuff to my new place. I cannot wait!!

June 23, 2012

My newest and toughest goal.....

To lose weight by this day. For anyone who might not have heard, this is my wedding day.

How many times have I said I will lose weight just on this blog? Too many for me to count. I hope this does not turn into one of those type posts where you read it and there I am not very far into the future in the exact same spot....

Well here is my first goal, lose 5 to 10 pounds by Easter. Now that is a mere 24 days away so if it does not happen...no tears here. Just a hope that it will happen.

Maybe I will make this a weight lose blog for the next year...Well truthfully probably not. Just a goal posting spot.

So here they are, my goals:

To lose weight and look Smokin' on my wedding day.
To lose weight by my engagement pictures.
To lose weight with William, especially now that it is affecting his health.
To lose weight by Easter so I can be more comfortable in my Easter dress.
To run and not feel like dying.
To exercise and feel good.
To feel good.

I cannot wait to achieve them!

Oh when the saint go Marching in!!!

I have been singing the song above for many many many months. For one specific reason..... I knew this month was going to be a Big one! I knew this month was going to Change my life! And boy O boy it has not disappointed! The reason I have been anticipating this month so is because a little bird told me this was the month I was going to get Engaged! Guess what...Last Saturday, March 5, 2011 my sweet boyfriend asked if I would marry him! With a very excited voice I said YES!




If you have an extreme amount of free time and you feel like there is nothing you want to do for the next hour or so, you could look back into my blog and read the posts I have posted in the past. There are several (understatement) that talks about how I am impatiently waiting on that moment to happen. Looking back...It took forever to get here.

I had a sneaking suspicion it would happen sometime this week because this week is my spring break. Lo and behold...Last Saturday William asked me to go out on a date. I had told him that if it was going to happen he should let me know to look nice because I have this habit of not exactly looking present1 able. So I told him anytime he asked me out that week I was going to be lookin' good! When he told me we were going out on Saturday I knew I needed to be looking like a million bucks. So my mom and I went shopping (something I do not enjoy) and I ended up putting an outfit together that I love.

He showed up that night and I was not finished getting ready. So he had to wait. After a few minutes my mom came into my room and said, "William is here!"
So I asked her, "How does he look? Does he look really nice?"
She told me, "Well, he is wearing a black shirt and jeans if you think that is nice."
Then she went back into the living room. After a few more minutes she came back in and I said to her, "If it doesn't happen tonight, I am not sure I can do this again."

At this point I had butterflies.

So we left for dinner. He took me to Cracker Barrel. I know this doesn't sound too romantic but this was where our first date was. It's very significant because I never thought we would make it this far after that first date. Our first date was awkward to say the least. We barely talked, Barely ate, Barely looked at each other. This last Saturday was exactly the same. Neither of us could eat, we barely talked...I know everyone around thought it was our first date.

After we finished dinner, we got into the truck and he drove me to the downtown area of our small town. Did I mention it had been raining all day? Well it had. So we get downtown and he parks the truck and says lets see if we can go into the old theater. So we get out of the car and walk up the street a little bit and he tries to open the door to the theater. And it was locked :)

So he said Oh well and got down on one knee right there and proposed. He said some really sweet things That I really need to write down, pulled out the ring and put it on my finger! It was so wonderful!

When we got home I saw this note on the door...



When we walked through the door our sweet little pup, Scout, ran up to us and he had a sweet little note around his neck



After we got inside everyone was very very excited and wanted to see the ring!







After a little while, William's family came over and we were all excited together:







The whole time I was texting Everyone I could think of. Could you tell I was so so excited?!



What a Wonderful night! What a wonderful beginning! I am so so blessed!

Southern Gospel

(Suddenly I felt lead to connect several of my favorite songs from my childhood. I realize that some of the connections are a bit fuzzy. But I hope it can be deciphered. I also hope you enjoy it as much as I did. :))

I once was sad and lonely I felt so all alone until I asked the Lord to take control. Then the hand of Jesus touched me, and Now I am No longer the same. What a privilege to carry everything to God in prayer. Hallelujah! What a Savior.

It was on a Sunday Somebody touched me. He touched me, He touched me. And O what joy that floods my soul. He gave me sweet contentment and said that I was free. I will never cease to praise him! I'll Shout it while eternity rolls. I'll fly away Oh Glory! Glory to God, I have a better place to go.

I once was blind but now I see. At the cross is where I first saw the light. I am so glad I learned to trust him.

Do you know my Jesus? Are you Needing a friend to save you in the end? Have you Heard He loves you? Jesus will forsake you never.

Continue in Love

Today is one of the days that I would love to be living at home instead of an hour away. Not only because I would like to be able to hang out with my boyfriend but also because I feel like this day is set apart as a day to be with everyone you love.

I realize that this holiday is based upon a really old dude that no one really knows anything about. I also realize that the cards, and candy hearts, and endless amount of Roses that are being given to others tonight was something that a head honcho of a large corporation came up with just for consumerism. (Wow! Why couldn't I think of that in my last class?! :))

But these items are not what this holiday represents in my life. I love the idea of an entire day set aside to constantly remember those you love.
So this is to:
William, the person God put on this Earth to be my support, friend, and hopefully maybe one day my husband.
To my Family that has been the constant love in my life.
To my true friends that I can count on a single hand.
To all of you. Yes I love every single one of you.

This is also one of those days where I long to visit with Jesus! How could there be a better way to celebrate a day dedicated to love than with the man who displayed the ultimate type of love. It's on a day like this that I reminded of the purpose God has given me. I have a longing to go sit outside on this wonderfully perfect day and read the ultimate love story. And most importantly to PUT THIS STORY INTO ACTION!

Happy love day!

He is ever just the same.

What do you say about a person that has such an important role in your life?

Bonnie Leola Williams was one of the most important women in my life. She was my Great Aunt but that sounds too distant. She wasn't just my grandmother's sister, she was also my friend, mentor, and inspiration. Does it seem strange that two people who are 70 years apart in age would have this type of relationship?

Maybe I become too attached to people. But she was special. She inspired me to be inquisitive. She was more than inquisitive. She was known to approach anyone who listen and ask them a question about the Bible. I fell victim to be the recipient to these questions several times in my life. The amazing thing is that she read the Bible 13 times completely through. At the time she died she was all the way to John of her 14th time. Isn't that insane?

I don't think I could archive all the memories I will cherish forever.
I will always remember her smile.
I will always remember her love.
I will always remember her laugh.
I will always remember her jokes.

I think the craziest part of all this is that it still hasn't hit me. Being away at school makes it feel like I could just drive home and walk through her front door like I did so many times before.

If I ever have a daughter I will name her Bonnie SarahBelle. Bonnie for this wonderful woman and SarahBelle for her sister, My grandmother.

When my grandmother went to be with the Lord I was relatively young. 8th grade or so. From time until now she became that Grandmother figure in my life.

What makes me the saddest is that she will never see me be engaged, She won't be there when I get married.

What makes me the happiest is that she is finally getting all the answers to all the questions she has been asking.

I could go on and on. And I realize that this isn't everything I wanted to say about her. I also realize that others can explain themselves better than I can.

All that matters is that I loved her and I always will love her.

Announcement!

So today is a good day...Know why?

Because I am changing my life! I have started back on the journey of weight loss. It's a long, hard, bumpy, annoying road, but people I am going to do it! I am determined :)

Prior to my sister's wedding I lost about 20-30 pounds and that feeling of all my clothes not fitting, and getting the size smaller... O the wonderfulness! That is my future.

I have so many reasons to loose weight. Just thinking about them makes me excited. Just thinking about the weight I AM GOING to loose makes me ecstatic! I have blogged about this before, but alas here I am again.

The wonderful thing is...I know I can do this. I know I will do this!

I have never had something that motivated me like what I have now.

The plan is...Baby steps. Today my accomplishment. I didn't drink any coke. If you knew me personally you would know this is a feat indeed.

My goal for a week from today...Loose at least 2 pounds.. No big deal. That could just be eating better, Walking my dog, A little exercise, another day of no coke.

O man, You would think I would be dreading this. But I can't wait to prove to myself that I can and will resist the temptations before me.

I have been told some really smart things but these are the ones that encourage me through the next steps in my life...

"Once on the lips, Forever on the hips"
"Never think of dieting as a 'last' When you tell yourself this is your last coke, you begin longing for that substance. If you realize you will have one sometime..You can realize and ask yourself if this is truly worth it."

Best for last:

"Food never tastes as good as thin feels"

What an adventure to embark on :)