Who am I?

That the Lord of all the Earth
Would Care to Know my Name
And care to Feel my Hurt?

These lyrics are running through my mind as this question is burning in my brain. Who am I? I am unworthy. Who and I? I am a human. Who am I? A human that messes up. Who am I? Who am I? Who am I?

Why did I feel the need to say something I never should have said? Why am I STILL beating myself up about it.

You're not supposed to say something about someone negative. If you don't have something nice to say. Don't! Right?

Even if you feel that it needs to be said. Even if you feel like the person needs to know. Even if they are someone very special to you who you feel is being treated wrong by the person closest to them.

Yeah you are supposed to keep your mouth shut.

Life lessons are the hardest things to learn.

I learned this one the hard way.

Stay out of other people's business. Don't judge even though you feel you are doing right. If they are happy be happy for them.

I am not you. I am not telling you what to do. I have never tried to do that. I just wanted to be your friend. Sorry that I messed up so big. Sorry I said something when I should have kept my mouth shut. Sorry that I hurt someone with words. (Especially after similar things happened to me)

I hope you read this.

Egg Shells

I feel like I have been walking on Egg shells for 22 years now. I am tired of being careful. Maybe you can tell by the way I say what I think now. I am especially tired of walking on egg shells at this point in my life.

I am so so excited to be engaged to William. Especially at this time in my life I refuse to walk on egg shells. Every plan I have made so far I have worried what if, what if I hurt someone? For instance the dresses I am trying on...What if they look like something you are already looking at? O man I am so tired of it. I am ready to just bee planning my wedding the way I want to and not be worried about the eggshells.

I am not longer being careful and walking on eggshells...I am going to start dancing on the egg shells. Doing what I want for William and MY wedding. I will no longer worry about what you are doing.

I am not longer responsible for any ones feelings but my own.


That being said... I am so so excited! It is now less than a year until I get married :). We have made so many strides to that day already! We have put a deposit down on the theater where the reception will be held. I have looked at dresses for the first time. I have pretty much made the decision of which style I am wearing. I can't wait to tell everyone all about what the plans are. Man I am so so excited!!! :)