In May, we had our first IUI. It was a time of learning. I learned what heart burn felt like, I know about hCg levels, and chemical pregnancies. I also learned God will get you through all sorts of situations you never thought you could handle.
You see, it worked! YAY!! We got a positive pregnancy test. I went in for blood work and everything seemed normal.They requirement is that your hCg levels double every 2 days, That indicates a normal pregnancy. They asked me to come back and nothing was normal...My levels had suspended. They asked me back again and saw that the levels were falling. I was told then that I was experiencing a Chemical pregnancy. They try to tell you that you weren't ever truly pregnant. Since it's so early and there was no physical characteristics of a pregnancy (they couldn't detect it on an ultrasound) they determined my pregnancy was chemical. There was never a "real baby." William and I have a problem with that. God's creation is a life. No matter how early. Our baby was our first baby. For the next couple of weeks I went through a very trying time of waiting. I was ok waiting to find out if I was pregnant; but waiting to lose the baby was torture. They tell you it's coming and you try to prepare yourself but there is no way to make yourself ready to see the evidence of that life coming to an end. Through faith and prayer we were able to make it through this trial in our lives.
There is no one holy like the Lord;
there is no one besides you;
there is no Rock like our God.
1st Samuel 2:2
There is a woman in the Bible named Hannah. She was a strong, well loved woman. She also happened to be barren. Many use her journey as an inspiration for their infertility. I am also one of those people. This story became the the hope I was desperate for. As I read about her life I was so inspired by her faith. She truly believed in God's grace and goodness!
Perhaps that's why we named our baby Hannah Faith. Hannah was due early February. We lost her when I was close to 5 weeks pregnant (super early, I know, but it still counts). Let me admit something to all of y'all, All of you announcing pregnancy that are due in February...You're killing me. But I'm happy for y'all. Sad for us.
So with heavy hearts, lots of prayers, and our Doctor's permission; we started our second round of fertility treatments. The positive side: we know we can get pregnant! I consider that a huge positive. Another positive is that our doctor sees no reason why we would have another chemical pregnancy. Saying that, it is difficult to move on so quickly. Another worry is that if we do have another chemical pregnancy we will have to start more tests and make sure nothing else is wrong with me.
This Sunday we had our second treatment. So here we are waiting. Waiting to take another pregnancy test and see if it worked again. Waiting to see if that test is positive. Then the real wait will start. I am praying we will not have another chemical pregnancy. My sweet friend Amanda said she is praying for a sustained life. I just love that prayer and I pray for that everyday.
Trying to keep my nerves from going nuts. Trying to stay calm. Mostly We're praying.
Wednesday, June 24, 2015
Monday, June 1, 2015
Space Mountain
Our last 7 days have been a roller coaster.
While I've been on many roller coasters in my life. None is quite like Space Mountain. It may be because I am slightly obsessed with Disney. The wonder and magic of Disney is truly enchanting. Out of all the rides in Disney World, Space mountain holds the most mystery and possibly the most magic.
Starting with the incredibly long line. I mean this thing is a monster. Full of "windows" where you can see the stars and all these planets. Some people that know the park understand this is one ride you have to get a fast pass or you will be stuck waiting for the ride of your life. This week we missed our fast pass. There was no skipping the lines for us. We have had to endure all the twists and turns of the line, wait patiently as those who were able, passed us and got to their goal. We abided by all the rules, and finally we get to the front of the line where the nice cast member asks, "How many are in your party?" We so want to reply 3, but sadly, here is the time we say 2, please.
Something I have always noticed about this ride is the spaceship you are placed in only has 4 seats total, They are all right behind each other. So it's almost like you are only aware of the person in front of you and the person immediately behind you.
We board our space ship excitedly awaiting our take off. So much anticipation in our hearts. This is going to be the best ride of our lives. You're accelerated quickly and off you go.
Here is where our week really started. In this ride it is completely dark except for a few flashing lights. Your senses are almost completely overwhelmed by the sounds, wind on your face, people screaming all around you.
Like any good roller coaster all you can do is hang on and enjoy the ride.
I said all of that to say this: IUI is exactly like Space Mountain.
The line I spoke about: I have been watching so many loved ones and friends get their fast pass. Their pregnancy that is the biggest blessing. And just like the fast pass, I am so excited you get to ride but I sure wish I had that pass. Also just like the line I know if I am patient and wait on the Lord I will eventually come to the front of the line.
That cast member that asked about how many is riding; That's all of you. You're being so supportive and loving. You're asking all these questions because you care and saying so many things because you care. I just so wish I could turn to you and say: there's now three in our small party. And yet it seems we are still only 2 riders on this journey.
The spaceship: While I know there are others before me who have had this problem it's so hard to see those who have already gotten through this journey. Saying that, I always know William has my back. He is the protector who will always take care of me. He is the perfect support for me. I can't say enough about him. I'm so glad he is the person supporting me.
The anticipation: all the treatment you have to endure before you even able to schedule the IUI. The pills, ultrasounds, shots.
The acceleration: The IUI. Although definitely not enjoyable was not the worst thing I have ever experienced. Then the real ride begins.
The ride: the 2 week wait. I'm not sure if you guys know anything about the 2ww but it is awful. You cannot do anything to help anything. You just have to live. Try your best not to be stressed and honestly just let it go.
Just when you think the ride is over, there is one more hill, the one you would never expect. Here I am. Unexpectedly free falling. Praying, Hoping something good comes from this round of IUI but realizing this ride has to end sometime. I also have to realize, once this free fall ends The ride will end. I will have to go back to the very beginning. Starting over in the long line. Watching everyone with their fast passes. But I am so willing to ride this ride as many times as necessary. It will be worth it. Because one of these days I will get to the front of the line and tell the cast member I need 3 seats in this spaceship.
Until then. I'm trying to enjoy the ride.
Saturday, April 11, 2015
He has been so good to me!
This stage of my life has been one of the most challenging, as well as the strangest time in my life. Perhaps I should catch you up...Life with infertility has continued no matter how much I had hoped this portion of my life would already be a memory. Yet here I am, still with out a baby, and still with out the most coveted title I could achieve; Mother.
Exciting news: I have met my infertility doctor (which through reading other blogs I have found out they are actually titled Reproductive Endocrinologists or RE for short) and I fell in love with her. I can't say enough about this woman! I have only had a couple of appointments with her, but I look forward to seeing her. Maybe that's crazy to say. I guess this should be another sad part of the journey but I think God sent her my way. She is a light in this dark time of my life. When I had my initial visit with her I felt at ease. She greeted me with the biggest smile and gave me all the encouragement I could ask for. The next couple of appointments should have been the scariest time in my life. We began testing again and I should have been on pins and needles and yet I was relaxed and trusted her completely. Moral of the story I have a borderline unhealthy love (ok slight obsession) with my reproductive endocrinologist.
The tests began. Several more blood tests (For real...SEVERAL), an internal ultrasound to check my ovaries for cysts and number of follicles, and then a test called a Femvue. All tests looked good. The blood tests return results that had slightly improved since my OBGYN did the initial work up. The first internal ultrasound showed I have a healthy amount of eggs and follicles.
Then we came to the Femvue. This test involved another internal ultrasound that looked at my uterus. They were looking for abnormalities, growths, etc. The very sweet tech was doing this exam and I could tell she had seen something. No one panic!! There was no tumor or baby or anything crazy exciting but there was Something. So she took some measurements and printed out a picture and went to get my RE to continue the Femvue. Once my Doctor came in (her name is Dr. Best btw) she said there was an abnormality in the initial ultrasound but it was nothing to be concerned about. She then started the second part of the test. (Warning..Graphic material ahead!!!)
The second part of the Femvue involved injecting a dye into my uterus. She had to inject enough to fill my fallopian tubes and see that the die was spilling out of them. This would show they were not blocked. Here's the graphic part: in order to complete this test Dr. Best first inserted a speculum to keep everything open, Next she reinserted the internal ultrasound wand, finally she inserted a tube and began filling my uterus with dye. We were both excited when the test showed each fallopian tube being open. Back to the ultrasound at the beginning of the appointment. Dr. Best told me she saw something that could possibly be 2 polyps or 2 fibroids.
From here the next action was planned. I would need a small outpatient surgery. When lead to me needing to be put on a certain medication so that the surgery could be scheduled anytime of the month. That medication was birth control. I was resistant to say the least. Ironically at the time I was prescribed a couple of medications. My med list included birth control and pre natal vitamins....strange.
I had this surgery completed last Tuesday. I had a hysteroscopy and a polypectomy. The removed a polyp that was 2 cm in diameter. ( about the size of a quarter) it was so large it was completely blocking one of my fallopian tubes and irritating my uterus a whole bunch. It basically acted like an IUD.
So now everyone (including me) is thinking...Hey that's a big problem! It's fixed now! Start trying again. But I don't want to get my hopes up again.
I also may have skipped over a small detail. Dr. Best sent William to a man specialist. They also completed more testing for him. They found he has some small issues (including low testosterone, and a varicose vein in a very unfortunate location) Both issues can and will be fixed but if we fix them now it will be a full year before we could get pregnant at all. Even through IVF.
Now you're all caught up. Present day. We have to go for my post-op. This is where we discuss all the findings from all the tests and establish the final plan to FINALLY GET PREGNANT!!
We are hoping, since the polyp is gone, and William's problems are not the worst problems you could have, that possibly we could get pregnant naturally. BUT again I am not getting my hopes up. I still think we are going to have to do IVF.
Now begins the waiting game. 10 days and counting until we can make another plan. 10 days and we can move forward! I'm going to be truthful, I am so tired of waiting. 1 year and 6 months of waiting so far. I'm trying to not be bitter but it's starting to get very difficult.
Tonight was a real test for me. My parents were at church with William and myself. Some of our family members came in. Including a new baby in our family. The baby's mother is my cousin. The baby was an unexpected blessing. When my cousin announced her pregnancy William and I had been trying to have a baby for several months.
The baby is precious. He is super cute and irresistible. My parents got to hold him. He sat in their lap and they began playing with him. I seriously lost it. I couldn't stop crying because that was supposed to be my baby. My parents were supposed to be bouncing my baby on their knee. And yet we are still waiting. And now I am becoming so bitter. And yet I keep thinking of this song:
I've got so much to thank Him for. So much to praise Him for! Well you see, He has
been so good to me! And when I think of all he's done and where He brought me from
I've got so much to thank Him for!
I try to remember God's goodness! I try to remember all my blessings. They are too many to count. I just have to remember: While I'm Waiting I WILL serve Him!
Exciting news: I have met my infertility doctor (which through reading other blogs I have found out they are actually titled Reproductive Endocrinologists or RE for short) and I fell in love with her. I can't say enough about this woman! I have only had a couple of appointments with her, but I look forward to seeing her. Maybe that's crazy to say. I guess this should be another sad part of the journey but I think God sent her my way. She is a light in this dark time of my life. When I had my initial visit with her I felt at ease. She greeted me with the biggest smile and gave me all the encouragement I could ask for. The next couple of appointments should have been the scariest time in my life. We began testing again and I should have been on pins and needles and yet I was relaxed and trusted her completely. Moral of the story I have a borderline unhealthy love (ok slight obsession) with my reproductive endocrinologist.
The tests began. Several more blood tests (For real...SEVERAL), an internal ultrasound to check my ovaries for cysts and number of follicles, and then a test called a Femvue. All tests looked good. The blood tests return results that had slightly improved since my OBGYN did the initial work up. The first internal ultrasound showed I have a healthy amount of eggs and follicles.
Then we came to the Femvue. This test involved another internal ultrasound that looked at my uterus. They were looking for abnormalities, growths, etc. The very sweet tech was doing this exam and I could tell she had seen something. No one panic!! There was no tumor or baby or anything crazy exciting but there was Something. So she took some measurements and printed out a picture and went to get my RE to continue the Femvue. Once my Doctor came in (her name is Dr. Best btw) she said there was an abnormality in the initial ultrasound but it was nothing to be concerned about. She then started the second part of the test. (Warning..Graphic material ahead!!!)
The second part of the Femvue involved injecting a dye into my uterus. She had to inject enough to fill my fallopian tubes and see that the die was spilling out of them. This would show they were not blocked. Here's the graphic part: in order to complete this test Dr. Best first inserted a speculum to keep everything open, Next she reinserted the internal ultrasound wand, finally she inserted a tube and began filling my uterus with dye. We were both excited when the test showed each fallopian tube being open. Back to the ultrasound at the beginning of the appointment. Dr. Best told me she saw something that could possibly be 2 polyps or 2 fibroids.
From here the next action was planned. I would need a small outpatient surgery. When lead to me needing to be put on a certain medication so that the surgery could be scheduled anytime of the month. That medication was birth control. I was resistant to say the least. Ironically at the time I was prescribed a couple of medications. My med list included birth control and pre natal vitamins....strange.
I had this surgery completed last Tuesday. I had a hysteroscopy and a polypectomy. The removed a polyp that was 2 cm in diameter. ( about the size of a quarter) it was so large it was completely blocking one of my fallopian tubes and irritating my uterus a whole bunch. It basically acted like an IUD.
So now everyone (including me) is thinking...Hey that's a big problem! It's fixed now! Start trying again. But I don't want to get my hopes up again.
I also may have skipped over a small detail. Dr. Best sent William to a man specialist. They also completed more testing for him. They found he has some small issues (including low testosterone, and a varicose vein in a very unfortunate location) Both issues can and will be fixed but if we fix them now it will be a full year before we could get pregnant at all. Even through IVF.
Now you're all caught up. Present day. We have to go for my post-op. This is where we discuss all the findings from all the tests and establish the final plan to FINALLY GET PREGNANT!!
We are hoping, since the polyp is gone, and William's problems are not the worst problems you could have, that possibly we could get pregnant naturally. BUT again I am not getting my hopes up. I still think we are going to have to do IVF.
Now begins the waiting game. 10 days and counting until we can make another plan. 10 days and we can move forward! I'm going to be truthful, I am so tired of waiting. 1 year and 6 months of waiting so far. I'm trying to not be bitter but it's starting to get very difficult.
Tonight was a real test for me. My parents were at church with William and myself. Some of our family members came in. Including a new baby in our family. The baby's mother is my cousin. The baby was an unexpected blessing. When my cousin announced her pregnancy William and I had been trying to have a baby for several months.
The baby is precious. He is super cute and irresistible. My parents got to hold him. He sat in their lap and they began playing with him. I seriously lost it. I couldn't stop crying because that was supposed to be my baby. My parents were supposed to be bouncing my baby on their knee. And yet we are still waiting. And now I am becoming so bitter. And yet I keep thinking of this song:
I've got so much to thank Him for. So much to praise Him for! Well you see, He has
been so good to me! And when I think of all he's done and where He brought me from
I've got so much to thank Him for!
I try to remember God's goodness! I try to remember all my blessings. They are too many to count. I just have to remember: While I'm Waiting I WILL serve Him!
Tuesday, January 13, 2015
So emotional
There are so many feelings and emotions that come with the journey of infertility. Perhaps too many to count. Theres:
frustration
helplessness
exhaustion
love
depression
hope
defeat
You may experience these emotions all in one day, in one hour, maybe even one minute.
One of the favorite and also least favorite moments of this journey was on a Sunday. My husband and I had just left church, we were driving to his grandparent's house for lunch. We started fighting. He had said something that upset me. It was probably not what he said but how he said it. It may have not even been what he said or how he said it that upset me, it may have just been at that moment anything would have upset me. I was so upset, I was sobbing, and half yelling, basically incoherent. He was just trying to console me while driving. Nothing was helping. He has to be one of the most patient men on the planet.
I forgot to mention it was down pouring.
So in the middle of this horrendous fight I look out the window and start to pout (because I am a very mature adult). Then I begin to laugh so loud! I'm talking a major guffaw! All while my husband looks on mystified.
Did I also mention you also have major mood swings during infertility?
This one, at least, was warranted. You see, I looked out the window and there he was, a man power washing his driveway, in the driving rain. This man was drenched. At this point in my life that was the funniest possible thing I could even think of. So maybe this was just a strange example of the many emotions and moods that come with infertility.
Unfortunately, recently my emotions have been the sadder emotions. Defeat, is possibly, the most obvious. I now officially know someone that has been pregnant, delivered her child, and is once again pregnant within the amount of time that William and I have been trying. So feeling defeated is my main emotion currently. But another very prominent emotion is love. Love, because during all of these times my husband has been a huge support even though he is experiencing this along with me. Love because all of my friends and family have given me encouraging words. Love because sometimes I can feel the prayers being sent our way.
Finally and probably most importantly, we are moving on to Part 4: meeting our infertility doctor.
I'm sure a very long post will follow soon to recount all of our new adventures with my new Doctor.
Monday, December 8, 2014
You are so loved
Baby Walker,
You are so loved. I haven't met you yet, you haven't even been conceived yet; even so, you are so loved. I have dreams of you. Full of shining bright eyes, perfect little toes, cute little fingers, adorable curling hair. And then I wake up. I hold fiercely to that picture of you. You are so loved.
Did you know you're a miracle? Did you know you're my life's goal? I can't wait to see you, hold you, love you, rock you to sleep.
I just haven't met you yet.
I'm waiting on my miracle. I think maybe Cinderella's Fairy Godmother said it best:
You are so loved. I haven't met you yet, you haven't even been conceived yet; even so, you are so loved. I have dreams of you. Full of shining bright eyes, perfect little toes, cute little fingers, adorable curling hair. And then I wake up. I hold fiercely to that picture of you. You are so loved.
Did you know you're a miracle? Did you know you're my life's goal? I can't wait to see you, hold you, love you, rock you to sleep.
I just haven't met you yet.
I'm waiting on my miracle. I think maybe Cinderella's Fairy Godmother said it best:
My perfect miracle, I will hold you someday. But until then, you my dear, are so loved.
Monday, December 1, 2014
Weighting For MY Baby
So so much has happened since my previous post. We have completed our initial testing. There were so many tests run, I kept thinking/hoping I would update the blog but I couldn't. It's like I was waiting. Waiting until all my answers came back. Until all our ducks were in a row. Well here we are...Here are our ducks.
I posted in the last update that I had successfully ovulated. As it turns out my OB decided that although my numbers were within the range of ovulation it was not a "strong" ovulation. (Her words) She then tested me for prolactin levels.. Mine were normal.
Which lead us to the next test. Here she found that I am Insulin Resistant. Basically meaning I have PCOS. This fertility problem is something so many are struggling with. I have suspected for many years that I have had PCOS. Like many, I knew that if I was diagnosed with this problem it meant dieting and exercise. In my case it also mean being put on a medication called Glucophage (it's more commonly known by it's generic name: Metformin) this raised my eyebrows! I have a VERY limited background in pharmacology. ( I had to take maybe 2 to 3 semesters of a pharmacology class in college in order to become a dental hygienist.) so I have an extremely baseline idea of what Metformin is. Basically I know its used as a treatment for type II diabetes. Which lead me to my next question...AM I DIABETIC?
The good news: no, I am not quite there. I have a more increased chance of being diabetic when I am older but at this point I am simply insulin resistant.
Good news, definitely. Upsetting news? maybe. Many thoughts ran through my head... Basically they all cumulated into "I did this to myself" Are our fertility issues are stemming from the fact that I have gained 40+ pounds since I married my wonderful husband? That's a tough pill to swallow. I understand that it is not all my fault. But my brain has this funny way of going straight to that thought. This is your fault. Coming to accept this new problem was an easy and also a not so easy task.
Let me just tell you.. I am not a good "dieter" I love my food! In my opinion, there is not many things in this world better than a really good coca cola. I'm also not ashamed to say I absolutely love desserts! Also let me confess; I am from the south...Where ever we go, we eat. Every church event, family get together, and visit to your grandma's house involves some meal. These are not small meals either. Literally every Sunday we are eating 2 large meals (meals that rival a thanksgiving feast). To add to this dieting difficulty, I have been placed on a diet at Thanksgiving. So this girl that enjoys her food is having it offered at every turn.
Now don't think I'm complaining. This is a blessing. But it's also a hurdle. So in order to make it through these large meals I have started a slogan that I keep repeating. It's now a daily mantra.. Anytime I feel weak, or I don't want to go to the gym I just tell myself...You're "weighting" for your baby!
This new saying has gotten my booty in the gym and gotten me to turn down those chips at the mexican restaurant. I have been a cheater this week (a really bad one actually) but I know that Baby is weighting on me too. So I have not given up.
If this weren't enough, we also have another obstacle to face. As it turns out my truly amazing husband also has a few concerns. He has completed a couple of tests that have turned out to also be a small challenge. At the first analysis it was determined that all of his levels looked good with the exception of one. The forward motion was lacking. Instead of going straight a considerable amount of his contribution was veering off course. Since there was an issue with his first test my doctor sent him back to the other office to repeat. What we found was puzzling. Again all levels were looking good with the exception of one. The craziest part...It wasn't the same concern as before. This time they did swim straight but their shape was off.
Here we began talking options again. My doctor offered me many options but in the end we hoped that once I have been on Metformin a couple of months and I have lost the necessary weight my ovulation will be come "stronger" and I will begin ovulating every month. Maybe once that happens we will be able to get pregnant. If it does not happen in a couple of months (the number of months is up to William and me) We can always try a medication name Clomid (this medication basically makes me ovulate and this ovulation is almost scheduled). A major side effect of Clomid is I may become "witchy" (again my Doctor's words). Try this a couple of months and if it doesn't work, we can move on to IUI.
While discussing these options and timelines I asked the doctor, what do you think we need to do? should we skip straight to the Clomid? Or maybe even skip straight to IUI. The doctor told me she couldn't tell me what to do but we need to do what works best for us. She did say, with both of us having complications our best bet is IUI.
So here we are:
Part 3, Step1: fertility testing complete- We got answers. Although the
problems are not as easily fixed as we hoped; they are still fixable.
Part 3, Step 2: Diet and exercise while taking Metformin
If we are not pregnant by February, we will move to Part 3, Step 3: Clomid
I posted in the last update that I had successfully ovulated. As it turns out my OB decided that although my numbers were within the range of ovulation it was not a "strong" ovulation. (Her words) She then tested me for prolactin levels.. Mine were normal.
Which lead us to the next test. Here she found that I am Insulin Resistant. Basically meaning I have PCOS. This fertility problem is something so many are struggling with. I have suspected for many years that I have had PCOS. Like many, I knew that if I was diagnosed with this problem it meant dieting and exercise. In my case it also mean being put on a medication called Glucophage (it's more commonly known by it's generic name: Metformin) this raised my eyebrows! I have a VERY limited background in pharmacology. ( I had to take maybe 2 to 3 semesters of a pharmacology class in college in order to become a dental hygienist.) so I have an extremely baseline idea of what Metformin is. Basically I know its used as a treatment for type II diabetes. Which lead me to my next question...AM I DIABETIC?
The good news: no, I am not quite there. I have a more increased chance of being diabetic when I am older but at this point I am simply insulin resistant.
Good news, definitely. Upsetting news? maybe. Many thoughts ran through my head... Basically they all cumulated into "I did this to myself" Are our fertility issues are stemming from the fact that I have gained 40+ pounds since I married my wonderful husband? That's a tough pill to swallow. I understand that it is not all my fault. But my brain has this funny way of going straight to that thought. This is your fault. Coming to accept this new problem was an easy and also a not so easy task.
Let me just tell you.. I am not a good "dieter" I love my food! In my opinion, there is not many things in this world better than a really good coca cola. I'm also not ashamed to say I absolutely love desserts! Also let me confess; I am from the south...Where ever we go, we eat. Every church event, family get together, and visit to your grandma's house involves some meal. These are not small meals either. Literally every Sunday we are eating 2 large meals (meals that rival a thanksgiving feast). To add to this dieting difficulty, I have been placed on a diet at Thanksgiving. So this girl that enjoys her food is having it offered at every turn.
Now don't think I'm complaining. This is a blessing. But it's also a hurdle. So in order to make it through these large meals I have started a slogan that I keep repeating. It's now a daily mantra.. Anytime I feel weak, or I don't want to go to the gym I just tell myself...You're "weighting" for your baby!
This new saying has gotten my booty in the gym and gotten me to turn down those chips at the mexican restaurant. I have been a cheater this week (a really bad one actually) but I know that Baby is weighting on me too. So I have not given up.
If this weren't enough, we also have another obstacle to face. As it turns out my truly amazing husband also has a few concerns. He has completed a couple of tests that have turned out to also be a small challenge. At the first analysis it was determined that all of his levels looked good with the exception of one. The forward motion was lacking. Instead of going straight a considerable amount of his contribution was veering off course. Since there was an issue with his first test my doctor sent him back to the other office to repeat. What we found was puzzling. Again all levels were looking good with the exception of one. The craziest part...It wasn't the same concern as before. This time they did swim straight but their shape was off.
Here we began talking options again. My doctor offered me many options but in the end we hoped that once I have been on Metformin a couple of months and I have lost the necessary weight my ovulation will be come "stronger" and I will begin ovulating every month. Maybe once that happens we will be able to get pregnant. If it does not happen in a couple of months (the number of months is up to William and me) We can always try a medication name Clomid (this medication basically makes me ovulate and this ovulation is almost scheduled). A major side effect of Clomid is I may become "witchy" (again my Doctor's words). Try this a couple of months and if it doesn't work, we can move on to IUI.
While discussing these options and timelines I asked the doctor, what do you think we need to do? should we skip straight to the Clomid? Or maybe even skip straight to IUI. The doctor told me she couldn't tell me what to do but we need to do what works best for us. She did say, with both of us having complications our best bet is IUI.
So here we are:
Part 3, Step1: fertility testing complete- We got answers. Although the
problems are not as easily fixed as we hoped; they are still fixable.
Part 3, Step 2: Diet and exercise while taking Metformin
If we are not pregnant by February, we will move to Part 3, Step 3: Clomid
Monday, October 20, 2014
I'm Happy for you, But I'm sad for me.
Dear Friend/ Acquaintance/Random person on Youtube,
You just announced you are pregnant. The joy on your face says it all. Your family and friends are all excitedly commenting on your post their congratulations! I "like" the post hoping that is enough. Because I'm happy for you but sad for me.
I've not seen you for many years. But I feel as if I still kind of know whats going on in your life due to your Facebook/blogger/twitter/general social media websites. I noticed when you started dating that pretty good looking fella (around the time I started dating my pretty handsome man). I liked many of your wedding photos you posted after your nuptials last year. Now here it is. Your precious blessing is being announced to the world. I really mean it when I say I am happy for you! I am so excited you will get to experience the joy of having a tiny human barge into your life. Again I'm happy for you but sad for me.
I feel as if our journey has almost coincided. Until this point. Then I realize... we have been trying longer than you have been married. I can't stress this enough..I am happy for you but sad for me.
As I scroll passed your new, completely adorable, baby announcement I see a video that I am urged to see by the general Facebook community. It says you must see this! How cute is this baby announcement! So of course I click! As I watch it I start tearing up. How exciting and precious this moment is for this couple! The link said they tried for over a year! We are in the same boat as they were! I will get my moment! So I start crying as the new father begins to cry. Because he is so happy! And I am so happy...you guessed it.. Happy for them, sad for us.
Sincerely,
Your acquaintance/random social media stalker
I'm hoping that letter didn't seem bitter, I promise I'm not bitter! Because I am truly happy for those who are nurturing their little blessings! As their journey into parenthood begins, Our journey into fertility testing continues.
I have great news! I'm about to over share (I feel like this whole blog is now an over share)...
Dun Duh DUNNNN... I OVULATED! (insert applause here!)
Last Wednesday I got a flashing smiley face on my ovulation tester. SO hooray!! That means it was my peak day of ovulation! I immediately called my OB and set up a blood work appointment. I go in tomorrow to have blood drawn to check my level of progesterone. William goes to a specialist day after tomorrow to start his testing. It's our first big expense. But at this point an answer will be worth every penny!
Lastly, please let me express how amazing all of you are. The outpouring of love we have received since my last blog post has been overwhelming. I'm not much of a sharer (that cannot be a real word) in real life. I'm a plaster a smile on your face and go on about your business type so it was very hard for me to post anything. Even more difficult to make it public. Everyone was so sweet to us. My bosses, my co-workers, my friends, my family. Each kind word and hug has been more help than you can imagine. I know through most of them I have been so awkward but like I said I'm not a sharer. I hope you understand why I awkwardly changed the subject after about 2 seconds! Seriously though, Thank you, thank you, thank you! From the bottom of my heart!
So Part 3, Step 1, Section A: ovulation testing completed and subsequent blood work begins tomorrow, I will update you as the results come in (if there is anyone actually reading this).
You just announced you are pregnant. The joy on your face says it all. Your family and friends are all excitedly commenting on your post their congratulations! I "like" the post hoping that is enough. Because I'm happy for you but sad for me.
I've not seen you for many years. But I feel as if I still kind of know whats going on in your life due to your Facebook/blogger/twitter/general social media websites. I noticed when you started dating that pretty good looking fella (around the time I started dating my pretty handsome man). I liked many of your wedding photos you posted after your nuptials last year. Now here it is. Your precious blessing is being announced to the world. I really mean it when I say I am happy for you! I am so excited you will get to experience the joy of having a tiny human barge into your life. Again I'm happy for you but sad for me.
I feel as if our journey has almost coincided. Until this point. Then I realize... we have been trying longer than you have been married. I can't stress this enough..I am happy for you but sad for me.
As I scroll passed your new, completely adorable, baby announcement I see a video that I am urged to see by the general Facebook community. It says you must see this! How cute is this baby announcement! So of course I click! As I watch it I start tearing up. How exciting and precious this moment is for this couple! The link said they tried for over a year! We are in the same boat as they were! I will get my moment! So I start crying as the new father begins to cry. Because he is so happy! And I am so happy...you guessed it.. Happy for them, sad for us.
Sincerely,
Your acquaintance/random social media stalker
I'm hoping that letter didn't seem bitter, I promise I'm not bitter! Because I am truly happy for those who are nurturing their little blessings! As their journey into parenthood begins, Our journey into fertility testing continues.
I have great news! I'm about to over share (I feel like this whole blog is now an over share)...
Dun Duh DUNNNN... I OVULATED! (insert applause here!)
Last Wednesday I got a flashing smiley face on my ovulation tester. SO hooray!! That means it was my peak day of ovulation! I immediately called my OB and set up a blood work appointment. I go in tomorrow to have blood drawn to check my level of progesterone. William goes to a specialist day after tomorrow to start his testing. It's our first big expense. But at this point an answer will be worth every penny!
Lastly, please let me express how amazing all of you are. The outpouring of love we have received since my last blog post has been overwhelming. I'm not much of a sharer (that cannot be a real word) in real life. I'm a plaster a smile on your face and go on about your business type so it was very hard for me to post anything. Even more difficult to make it public. Everyone was so sweet to us. My bosses, my co-workers, my friends, my family. Each kind word and hug has been more help than you can imagine. I know through most of them I have been so awkward but like I said I'm not a sharer. I hope you understand why I awkwardly changed the subject after about 2 seconds! Seriously though, Thank you, thank you, thank you! From the bottom of my heart!
So Part 3, Step 1, Section A: ovulation testing completed and subsequent blood work begins tomorrow, I will update you as the results come in (if there is anyone actually reading this).
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)