Married LIfe

I am sitting here in my sister's kitchen at her Beautiful newly installed window seat observing them.

That sounds like they are my new science experiment... Let me explain,

My sister invited me to spend a little time with her and her husband. Offered to make me dinner and watch a movie. I even got to swim in there pool. Which is a real treat after a HOT Georgia day like today. I mean come on people here in Georgia we are talking tops at 94 degrees today.


Well as I sit here and they are busy being all married and making my dinner and just being them I realize that I cannot wait to be doing this. Just being married.

Who am I?

That the Lord of all the Earth
Would Care to Know my Name
And care to Feel my Hurt?

These lyrics are running through my mind as this question is burning in my brain. Who am I? I am unworthy. Who and I? I am a human. Who am I? A human that messes up. Who am I? Who am I? Who am I?

Why did I feel the need to say something I never should have said? Why am I STILL beating myself up about it.

You're not supposed to say something about someone negative. If you don't have something nice to say. Don't! Right?

Even if you feel that it needs to be said. Even if you feel like the person needs to know. Even if they are someone very special to you who you feel is being treated wrong by the person closest to them.

Yeah you are supposed to keep your mouth shut.

Life lessons are the hardest things to learn.

I learned this one the hard way.

Stay out of other people's business. Don't judge even though you feel you are doing right. If they are happy be happy for them.

I am not you. I am not telling you what to do. I have never tried to do that. I just wanted to be your friend. Sorry that I messed up so big. Sorry I said something when I should have kept my mouth shut. Sorry that I hurt someone with words. (Especially after similar things happened to me)

I hope you read this.

Egg Shells

I feel like I have been walking on Egg shells for 22 years now. I am tired of being careful. Maybe you can tell by the way I say what I think now. I am especially tired of walking on egg shells at this point in my life.

I am so so excited to be engaged to William. Especially at this time in my life I refuse to walk on egg shells. Every plan I have made so far I have worried what if, what if I hurt someone? For instance the dresses I am trying on...What if they look like something you are already looking at? O man I am so tired of it. I am ready to just bee planning my wedding the way I want to and not be worried about the eggshells.

I am not longer being careful and walking on eggshells...I am going to start dancing on the egg shells. Doing what I want for William and MY wedding. I will no longer worry about what you are doing.

I am not longer responsible for any ones feelings but my own.


That being said... I am so so excited! It is now less than a year until I get married :). We have made so many strides to that day already! We have put a deposit down on the theater where the reception will be held. I have looked at dresses for the first time. I have pretty much made the decision of which style I am wearing. I can't wait to tell everyone all about what the plans are. Man I am so so excited!!! :)

The Least of These.

This is a new Bible study I have felt lead to embark on. One that studies Christ's journey in the world and how that journey had many many many encounters with the smallest, meekest, most vulnerable there were. Those that were cast out, Those that didn't feel they had a prayer. Those that were segregated and different. Those that didn't have the same beliefs, They are the ones I want to know more about. I want to know about Saul before he became Paul. I want to know More about the Leper that was so covered with sores that no one would be in his area let alone reach out and touch him. I want to know about the woman that was so desperate to just touch the Lord she fought through a crowd to be nearer to him. I want to humble myself to as small as they felt. Because I feel it is here when they were on their knees they found salvation. I need to be put back on my knees. Figuratively and literally. This is my new desire. To become one of the Least of them. The one that seems and feels unworthy because I feel it is when they humble themselves to that low it is then they truly deserve the love and affections Christ offered to everyone.

What's that?!

Another new and exciting adventure I am about to embark on?

Yes it is!! Today I am excited, today I am ecstatic, today I am happy! All because my wonderful sister and her hubby are moving to their first house! Why would that be exciting to me? That is because I will be moving into the apartment she is in now.

I realize how this sounds... That I am ready for her to move her butt out of there! Although this might be a relatively true statement, It is not because I want to get rid of her. I am so so so excited for her to embark on her next adventure in her life.

Let me just clarify something here. This apartment I am moving into is in the basement of my childhood home. Although this isn't the lap of luxury I still cannot wait! You see this will be where William and I live when we first get married.

It has also been no secret that when I moved an hour away from my home I did not like it at all. (Little side note... I have grown a lot since moving an hour away. SO although I didn't like it I have improved in some ways.) That is just one more way that I am excited to move back.

And although I am so so very excited, I am finding that I will actually miss this little place I have made mine. My very first apartment. It has been a time where I learned I could get by on my own. I just don't prefer it. I have learned that I am not very good at cooking. Not in the ability of cooking but in the habit. I do not have a habit of making my meals. I go out to eat waaayyyyy too much. I have learned that I will never be grown enough to not be afraid of a storm. In fact just last night I was crying on the phone to my fiance when a huge storm came through. Yet here I am. Able to say that I didn't run that I was here. How wonderful.

In the next few weeks William and I will be "fixing" our first place. But really since my sister made it look so awesome we are hoping we will just really make it our own. Then I will be moving some of my belongings to my new little home. And in a few months when my current lease is up, I will move the rest of my stuff to my new place. I cannot wait!!

June 23, 2012

My newest and toughest goal.....

To lose weight by this day. For anyone who might not have heard, this is my wedding day.

How many times have I said I will lose weight just on this blog? Too many for me to count. I hope this does not turn into one of those type posts where you read it and there I am not very far into the future in the exact same spot....

Well here is my first goal, lose 5 to 10 pounds by Easter. Now that is a mere 24 days away so if it does not happen...no tears here. Just a hope that it will happen.

Maybe I will make this a weight lose blog for the next year...Well truthfully probably not. Just a goal posting spot.

So here they are, my goals:

To lose weight and look Smokin' on my wedding day.
To lose weight by my engagement pictures.
To lose weight with William, especially now that it is affecting his health.
To lose weight by Easter so I can be more comfortable in my Easter dress.
To run and not feel like dying.
To exercise and feel good.
To feel good.

I cannot wait to achieve them!

Oh when the saint go Marching in!!!

I have been singing the song above for many many many months. For one specific reason..... I knew this month was going to be a Big one! I knew this month was going to Change my life! And boy O boy it has not disappointed! The reason I have been anticipating this month so is because a little bird told me this was the month I was going to get Engaged! Guess what...Last Saturday, March 5, 2011 my sweet boyfriend asked if I would marry him! With a very excited voice I said YES!




If you have an extreme amount of free time and you feel like there is nothing you want to do for the next hour or so, you could look back into my blog and read the posts I have posted in the past. There are several (understatement) that talks about how I am impatiently waiting on that moment to happen. Looking back...It took forever to get here.

I had a sneaking suspicion it would happen sometime this week because this week is my spring break. Lo and behold...Last Saturday William asked me to go out on a date. I had told him that if it was going to happen he should let me know to look nice because I have this habit of not exactly looking present1 able. So I told him anytime he asked me out that week I was going to be lookin' good! When he told me we were going out on Saturday I knew I needed to be looking like a million bucks. So my mom and I went shopping (something I do not enjoy) and I ended up putting an outfit together that I love.

He showed up that night and I was not finished getting ready. So he had to wait. After a few minutes my mom came into my room and said, "William is here!"
So I asked her, "How does he look? Does he look really nice?"
She told me, "Well, he is wearing a black shirt and jeans if you think that is nice."
Then she went back into the living room. After a few more minutes she came back in and I said to her, "If it doesn't happen tonight, I am not sure I can do this again."

At this point I had butterflies.

So we left for dinner. He took me to Cracker Barrel. I know this doesn't sound too romantic but this was where our first date was. It's very significant because I never thought we would make it this far after that first date. Our first date was awkward to say the least. We barely talked, Barely ate, Barely looked at each other. This last Saturday was exactly the same. Neither of us could eat, we barely talked...I know everyone around thought it was our first date.

After we finished dinner, we got into the truck and he drove me to the downtown area of our small town. Did I mention it had been raining all day? Well it had. So we get downtown and he parks the truck and says lets see if we can go into the old theater. So we get out of the car and walk up the street a little bit and he tries to open the door to the theater. And it was locked :)

So he said Oh well and got down on one knee right there and proposed. He said some really sweet things That I really need to write down, pulled out the ring and put it on my finger! It was so wonderful!

When we got home I saw this note on the door...



When we walked through the door our sweet little pup, Scout, ran up to us and he had a sweet little note around his neck



After we got inside everyone was very very excited and wanted to see the ring!







After a little while, William's family came over and we were all excited together:







The whole time I was texting Everyone I could think of. Could you tell I was so so excited?!



What a Wonderful night! What a wonderful beginning! I am so so blessed!